A woman never vomits in a movie unless she is drunk or pregnant. It’s never the case of bad tacos or something.
Store Clerk: “Would you like the extended warranty on these headphones? It’ll cover frayed wires, etc.”
Me: “Will it cover my cat chewing the wire?”
Store Clerk:”Ummm…” (turns to another clerk) “Will this warranty cover the headphones if her cat chews the wires?”
Clerk 2: “No..that’s considered ‘accidental’ damage.”
Me: “There’s nothing ‘accidental’ about it!! My cat has been plotting against me for quite some time!”
Clerk 2: “Uh.. Well…er..you could certainly *try* to claim that, but I don’t think it would work.”
I think these policies need to be re-written by cat owners.
YOU SEE THAT, DONALD? THAT’S A HERD OF ANTELOPE. WE’RE GOING TO EAT THEM. DO YOU KNOW WHY WE’RE GOING TO EAT THEM?
BECAUSE WE’RE HUNGRY?
NO, BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T GO TO COLLEGE. THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON’T GO TO COLLEGE. YOU DIE SCREAMING IN A FIELD. NOW LET’S EAT. AFTER THAT YOU’RE GOING TO FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK.
Shared this with my kid. CAUSE IT’S TRUE.
This is what happens when you accidentally text me (a stranger) a pic of yourself.
And yes, I sent this back to him. With the message “Fixed!”
Yessssss! And my night is complete.
Ever wonder what kind of messed up body disease the princess must have had to feel a pea under all those mattresses? I bet she was a nightmare to be married to.
Gary Oldman - Still has it.
My favorite AbFab line to quote.
The Internet is the greatest thing ever invented, and this is the proof.